Time has flown. I have been in New York for 4 months. I do still feel like this was the move for me, but I don’t feel like I have been successful at all 😦
I have been on dozens of castings and go-sees and haven’t booked a single job. When do I throw in the towel? Should I give it a year? Two years? I’m feeling discouraged.
My social live is buzzing, my favorite places to party are Greenhouse, Veranda, and 1 OAK. I met a cool guy, Damion, who gets me and Monica into all the clubs for free, and our own table. We always have a good time when we party with him. He’s a model for Ford, and his friends are often hot!
As far as my dating life, well, if you don’t remember, the last guy I dated left me in a romantic wasteland. In fact, I sometimes wish I never met him. Why do I continue to settle for men who don’t deserve me?? I think it’s because I don’t think there are good men out there, so I settle for less in lue of waiting for more. I mean this guy was so bad for me it’s not even funny, and now he’s left a stain on my spirit that isn’t scrubbing off that easily. I hate myself for staying with him as long as I did (rant finished). Now, I had told Monica that I was DONE with men all together, then the very next day she came home and said that she had met the perfect guy for me.
Soooo I allowed her to arrange a blind date and it went extremely well, and I saw him 3 more times that very same week. I was instantly head over heals (as I often am in the beginning), but now, I’m not sure I want to do this anymore. My heart is tired! I just want one good one. I’m sooooooo TIRED of dating!!! So now I’m thinking should I even start things with this one, or should I just retire to my corner in defeat? Defeat.
So what’s next for me? Well, hell if I know. I need to find another job, I swear all my money goes to shoes and food. I don’t even want to think about how much I spend on frozen yogurt every week.
I have to bid you blog-readers of mine farewell for a bit. I’m at a crossroads, having a quarter-life-crises, etc.! And cannot deal! So, I’m signing off for a bit, I will say…..2 months….twitter too….and I’ll be back when I’ve sorted things out. No, I’m not giving up on my dreams, but I have been knocked down and need to regroup and pick myself back up to try things again, but slightly differently.
I probably sound like a Sad Sally (cancers tend to be moody crabs).